April 6, 2009

By The Way... (part 2)

Freddy Rodriguez? Gonzalez? I'm not sure what his name was exactly, but he was my roommate-to-be. I was informed of who my roommate was when I was on vacation in California with my friend Kara. I didn't want things to go awry three days into being roommates, so I decided to email Mr. Freddy and inform him that I was gay. He said he wasn't really comfortable with that. I guess I understood and forwarded the email conversation to the housing department of EMU. They said they get many emails each semester on such concerns and properly accomidate students when a situation occurs.

I was assigned a new roommate: Matt Kane. I decided to just wait to see how Matt was going to work out, and I waited to tell him my little secret so I wouldn't bother the housing department too much. I told him the third day of living together after pressing a few questions and weighing his responses. Matt was awesome. I feel like I lack any sort of support-giving capabilities when it comes to roommates because Matt had three gay uncles and was completely cool with homosexuals. I remember the night I told him as we were going to bed and trying to avoid the September heat:

Nick: I bet you miss your girlfriend right now, huh?
Matt: Yeah dude, there's so much stuff going on right now. It's totally new and I wish she was right here with me.
Nick: Yeah, I understand completely.
Matt: I don't think I asked you, but do you have a girlfriend?
Nick: Uhhh... not exactly. I have a boyfriend.
Matt: Oh really!? I didn't know you were gay. It's okay though. I'm totally cool with it.
Nick: Oh, God! I'm glad! I was so worried what was going to happen. You know, if I got one of those crazy "God hates fags" roommy, I would have shat myself.
Matt: No way man, I'm completely fine with it. I actually have three gay uncles. Haha.

How could I complain? How could anyone complain? I think this is the best roommate situation for any homosexual. Not even another gay roommate can beat that, because if you get two queens together, there will be more drama than Spanish soap operas.

There came a time, though, when I "had to tell" my newly made friends. Do I risk telling them and receiving their rejection? I sort of had an attitude that was like, "Well, if they don't like gays, then they aren't worth being friends with," and that is the attitude I still hold today. I think the first person I told (aside from a gay guy, Tyler, who knew about me before we even met via myspace) was maybe Samara. She was so funny when I layed it out in front of her. And the rest of my friends had such different reactions:

Samara: Oh, I knew you were gay. Boy, I could tell from the moment my eyes laid on you.
Kim: Really? Like... really? I can't tell at all!
Dale: Wait, you're gay, too?
Chelsea: Oh, that's all right. Like I don't care.

I think I made it a bigger deal than any of my friends ever did. I still find myself making a big deal out of it in different situations, especially when I meet someone for the first time. But the point is that no one cared. None of my friends rejected me for it, and if anything I became closer to them.

I lived in Best Hall. It was an all-guys floor and the only all-guys floor in the building. The nickname "sausage fest" was coined, obviously, since a college freshman have nothing else more intelligent to laugh at. My friend Dale, though, re-worded the statement quite well: "Ground floor Best is a sausage fest... for a reason." What exactly does that mean? It means that in my wing of the hall alone, we had 4 - 6 gay men living next to one another. Any more fags up in there and it would have been the fashion columnist team for Cosmopolitan.

In a nut-shell, my coming-out experience in college couldn't have gone any better. It seemed as if suddenly the world turned gay.

That bitch. I will always have a grudge against her. What she did was unforgivable. I don't think I can legally name her, for that may be slander, but here is where my Sunday-drive of a coming out experience in college ran right off the cliff.

Someone who went to Tawas Area High School as well as Eastern Michigan University with me, who was also a lesbian/bisexual herself betrayed my trust to such an extent that I still have dreams of physically doing harm to her (maybe I should see a shrink?) I had told her in the late, late summer since she was part of my friend group and I knew she was going to find out anyway. Later on in the fall, I told her who my boyfriend was and told her not to say a single word about who he was to anyone. He is not out and I am not out so don't do it. If you have to say something, put me first but don't say his name at any and all costs.You can see where this is going... During winter break, she went home and during a party she said to a group of friends, "OMG, did you know Erica is dating Ian? Oh, and did you also know Nick's gay and dating *INSERT BF's NAME*?"

How could someone who is a lesbian herself be so cruel and heartless? How could she just reveal something so sacred and trusted as if it was talking about the weather? I could have killed, honestly. I had it all planned out, I was going to wait at her resident hall outside her door and when she came back with her bags from break, I was going to punch her in the face and spit on her and then walk away. My friends tried to recompense what she did by telling the group that what she said isn't true, ditching her as a friend, etc. but it didn't change the fact that I was outed at that point by someone who I put so much trust into.

I don't know what the hell happened, but it didn't develop into an issue at all. No one really spread words around, and people still thought I was straight-- or at least passable as straight. I returned to EMU and cautiously lived the next semester.

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 22, 2012

    Ahh I can't wait for my college experience... I wont have to fear being kicked out of my parents house again, or worse them making me go to something like straight camp or forcing me to be straight.. I remember when I was in Tawas Area middle school I had a little scare with my parents almost finding out.. I told one of my best friends, she told her friend... She told her boyfriend... And her boyfriend ended up making a stupid comment about me near my mom. I wasn't even 13 yet and I was told to leave, yet I convinced them after a while I wasn't gay.. They still make me to hang up model posters in my room to this day after that. After that the secret stopped spreading luckily, because I wont be coming out until I can financially support myself. And I'm glad to hear your experience was well, other than that "bitch" as you put it. =p I hope mine goes at least half as good as yours